CW #12: PATIENCE
WHY ARE WE IN SUCH A RUSH?
Does this sometimes happen to you? You receive a message that you find to leave a rather negative impression. Just a small hint of an unpleasant feeling. You do not know how to react or what to answer exactly. As a result you might create onerous thoughts due to its one-sidedness of inconsistencies. You feel obligated to answer right away. It is because of our fast-moving social attributes, that we force ourselves to respond immediately. Consequently, you reply. You react to an action of discomfort. This is the moment where a cycle of negative connotations begins. Why not pause for a second? Why not skip this message for a moment and get to it later? Fast movements often lead to unwanted actions. Unintentionally we say words we do not really mean that way. And the very poor effect of inadvertently spoken words is that they might be forgiven but never forgotten! So, give yourself some time to reflect upon the situation, establish a clear understanding and reply in a matter that is worth dealing with. WELCOME TO CW #12: PATIENCE!
The linguistic background of the term “patience” roots in the Latin word patientia literally referring to the “quality of suffering”, as well meaning tolerant and remaining or being persistent and enduring. Therefore being patient implies an action of withstand. It is about creating a space of open-mindedness that allows all feelings and emotions to have space. Space for their own development. A space in which those elements find their purpose. What is the purpose of suffering, you might question? Which in fact is a quite good point of view, without which we would not be able to get to its outcome.
What we want to focus on is the quality of suffering not its quantity. For this reason we want to detach from useless bad feelings. Yes, I agree that all all types of feelings should get a certain amount of attention. Furthermore we should not ignore personal thoughts that actually want to be expressed and lived. But sometimes we hold back ourselves while keeping busy creating new matter of suffering. It is the comfort zone that we live in that allows this type of behavior. In particular, we may even refer to a type of coziness in which we act and react in a particular way. A way that is determined to make us feel good. A way in which we hold on to something that we are used to for the sake of not experiencing a feeling supposedly creating emptiness. This is the emotion we often go through when releasing ourselves from any sort of attachments.
What we do is clasping around this used yet unsatisfied situation and devour it all, so that no sort of emptiness may ever appear! Sometimes we even tend to establish a sense of ownership which seemingly makes us believe that we are in control. In control of ourselves, our live partner, our children, our friends, our colleges and even the people one step further. We know, being in control results in comfort. It is a socially set and recognized mindset which establishes within social values and norms only a few people try to escape from. This mindset is based on our cultural understanding of how relationships have to appear and in which sort of way they have to progress. It is due to the experienced, lived and performed cultural surrounding that we create that type of behavior. Therefore we may stick to a rather unpleasant but familiar surround when certainly what we should do is let go.
As counterexample I want to present an alternative approach. Observe your environment. Look around and reflect upon your thoughts and behavior. Try to create new space. A space in which you are able to release certain behavioral patterns that you may find obstructive. Be aware of getting into a slow paste mood. Feel that nothing around you is eternal, that everything is in movement and therefore changeable. Feel the non-existence and at the same time the transformative potential it posses. Feel the patience and its quality of suffering. Try to put yourself into the picture and…
…ask for personal value
What is important to me?
What do I need?
…ask for relief of needles things and thoughts
What is of true emotional benefit?
What is it I can get rid of?
… ask for a clear vision, get personal
Where do I want to be?
Who do I want to be?
… create action patters
What do I have to do to reach my vision?
What type of coping strategies are useful?
By analyzing the inner and outer situation - the environment you grow in - you live, act and learn. You allow yourself to reach a certain level of self-fulfilling structures. What we are in need of is patience and endurance. Once you are in the flow of this technique, you enable yourself to find your first piece of puzzle!
The Puzzle Theory
The Puzzle Theory expresses an approach of an alternative mindset based on the power of patience and its positive effect on personal growth. Moreover it creates a more visual access and therefore a better understanding of how things around us gain their own flow.
Sometimes it is just annoying not knowing exactly what to want or what to do. Especially since society tells us to be all sorted out, e.g. after graduating from school. We need to know who we are, what we want to do in life and how to get there when actually neither the school system nor the social surrounding creates an adequate foundation to do so. Quite the contrary, the social structures we live in convey a mindset of permanent clear and fast responds, which is why we often lose ourselves in a vortex of useless and harmful operations. Though what we are truly in need of is space and time to be able to figure out. Yes, it takes time to wash out our brains of destructive and pointless habits. Beyond that we often do not allow ourselves to have a healthy and balanced amount of activity spectrum. A place in which we actually are able to experience ourselves and our conduct including misbehavior. Thus we enable ourselves to progress and succeed upon autonomous decisions, take responsibility for our personal actions and create an individual platform of self-realization (attributes describing the matter of freedom, CW #11: blog post talking about freedom, for more information click here).
Personal development takes time, so learn to be patient with yourself and your individual progress. Once you accept the dynamics of existence and create a flexible mindset towards life you will find your desired piece of puzzle. What is more, you will discover all its connecting parts, its alternative thought patterns, its new waves of actions and its endless opportunities - because the essence of a puzzle is that it comes in large designs building whole pictures!
Do you trust the process of development? You need to be patient to feel it. To provide an assistance, try the method of affirmation. Here are some examples:
“I am patient.”
”I am aware that things take time.”
“I trust the process of development.”
This is the end of CW’s #12 blog post! I want to thank you for your support and attention you have given CAATUS Effect since the beginning of the year. Let us make 2019 a great one!