CW #41: RESPECT
DO YOU RESPECT YOURSELF?
Have you ever experienced a moment in which you were seeking acknowledgement and therefore acted against your personal values? Or, perhaps you were trapped in a complex situation having to make a life changing decision, but because you feared the consequences you chose not to? Sometimes we hand responsibility over to others hoping to avoid confrontation. Other times, we refuse to even deal with the truth because living a lie seems much easier. However, what we most often forget is the desire for development and growth. There is not a single person on this planet craving standstill. Either it is to build a family, to find a suitable job, to become a better athlete or to find passion in something, something that is worth spending time on. Everyone is engaged in doing something. Even if it is doing nothing. It is still a commitment. We must never ignore our wishes. In fact, if we learn to acknowledge ourselves, we will be more successful in becoming who we really are. WELCOME TO CW #41: RESPECT!
Respect is a great word, and its meaning is even greater. The term “respect” derives from Latin respicere/ respectus meaning “to look back”. In French it was translated into respect referring to “consideration” as in taking something into account. On the one hand respect is seen in appreciation and admiration towards others. Often the French will say “chapeau” when they try to express great respect. On the other hand respect can also be understood as timidity and fear. This particular type of respect occurs when dealing with authorities, for example judges. In the past superior society was respected more than lower class, not because they deserved it but because social standards claimed this distinction to be right. Further, respect is defined differently based on cultural backgrounds. Kissing elderly people’s hands is a respectful gesture in Muslim culture. Whereas in China, too much body contact and private interaction within short-term friendships or business meetings, such as giving a hug or calling someone by his first name is seen as impolite and disrespectful. In Japan society uses the term “san” when talking to unknown or older people. It is an expression of honor and dignity. In some East-Asian cultures we are able to observe powerful gestures such as kowtowing. It is the act of kneeling or bowing until the forehead touches the ground when entering a temple. In doing so one honers the dead. Today, in European cultures, the practice of paying tribute to decedents is expressed with the word piety. However, in Ancient times, piety described dutiful behavior towards humans and gods. Also, it was seen in appreciating common rules and values. In some indigenous American tribes respect is a main element in education. Therefore, children are taught moral values of how to participate in their communities.
Showing respect means to show honor for somebody, for example by listening when others speak.
It means to be helpful and do not make excuses for misbehavior. What is more, respect is to apologize when needed and to thank people when being encouraged. It is an act showing that you care about others, their feelings and well-being. On these grounds, your respect is seen in the way you treat others.
Certainly, respecting others, treating people according to moral values depends on the levels of self-respect. One cannot respect others if there is no respect for oneself. Self-respect is either seen in the need of respect from others in the form of recognition and admiration, or in the form of self-love and aptitude. However, when depending on assurance from others one will never find true self-respect. If anything, self-respect is defined as pride and confidence in oneself. It can be seen in self-esteem and in having the courage to stand-up for one’s rights. It is about knowing your worth and not having others decide about your life. Also, it is about leaving people behind that treat you poorly. Your self-respect is seen in self-regard and whether you have faith in yourself. Ultimately you show others how you want to be seen and treated.
People with high self-respect will know how to set boundaries and defend their values which is why others respond with respect.
Therefore it is extremely important to first respect yourself, establish your personal values and live by them in order to be treated the way you wish and deserve to be treated. Self-respect means you value yourself and you feel secure about yourself as well as your abilities. Moreover you are able to build positive relationships and deal with feedback in a constructive way which helps you to acquire and master new skills. Self-respect means that you know how to let go of anger and that you are willing to change when needed.
Does it mean you are being egoistic when you are trying to build self-respect? HELL NO! Your ego identifies your importance within society only. Whereas having high levels of self-respect helps to love yourself regardless of what society says.
So, do you respect yourself?
Have a joyful calendar week #41!