CW #43: COMMITMENT
WHO AM I?
Today, it seems as if everyone is on a discovery mission. Reinvent yourself, create yourself, transform yourself - why are we in such a need of changing who we are? Aren’t we satisfied with who we have become? Can’t we accept our inner selves? Indeed, finding yourself has become fashionable, if not a must among peer pressure and social standards. Besides, its execution evokes competition similar to a car race. Whose vehicle has the most attractive color, which one is the fastest and who has won the most trophies? In other words, who is the best! Obviously we are missing something, otherwise we would not be looking for alterations. What is it that we do not see or cannot find? What are we missing? What are we looking for? As a matter of fact, we have been on the run for a long. Changing jobs more often as never before. Also, traveling to third world countries hoping to find something we have already ditched hundreds of years earlier. Participating in yoga classes seeking for enlightenment. Changing eating habits by becoming pescetarians, vegetarians and vegans. Modifying our lifestyles by establishing balance between work and free time. Actually, we do a pretty good job digging through the jungle in order to find its essentials. If you like it or not, the only way out is to go through. To be precise, the only way to feel yourself is to look deeper and to be determined. WELCOME TO CW #43: COMMITMENT!
In westernized countries, especially in its cities it is tough to go on a self-discovery mission. Basically, its difficulty is to participate in overall social activities and movements but still commit to yourself as an individual. In fact it is the contrast between “we” and “I” that most of us struggle with. Also, in a society based on high levels of comparison, it becomes more and more challenging to acknowledge and accept who you really are. This is the reason why many of us hide behind the “curtain of fortune”. To the outside world, on stage, we appear calm, resolute, and purposeful. We know how to put on a fake smile. We know which words will please other people. What is more, we have practiced to perform extraordinary cheerful and blessed. At the same time, the inside bubble fills with pent-up emotions and unprocessed feelings. However, as soon as the curtain falls, the backstage area reveals and causes an eruption. Subsequently the inside bubble explodes and what we will have to deal with is misery and doom.
The problem is that we have not learnt to deal with pain and misfortune. In addition, our social environment most often does not allow weakness. The reason for this lays in its functionality. In order to create a financially rich lifestyle we must dedicate our time to its establishment. Meanwhile we bring full-time workers into being. We work on our careers, our image and our picture perfect mood. However, we forget to include the most important component, our humanity. We are no robots, no puppets. There is a reason why we have feelings and experience emotions. Moreover, there is a reason why we need to live through both joy and pain. So, why do we constantly exclude one of the most normal form of existence? Why do we prefer to hold on to pain?
HOW TO COMMIT…
Indeed, change sometimes is difficult, yet not impossible.
What makes it challenging lays in its uncertainty concerning its mastery. In other words, we are afraid of change because we do not know if we are able to accomplish our new goals. We are scared of the unknown and its consequences, regardless of its actual effect. Not knowing what is coming next frightens us which is why we have created this huge mental image of transformation, an image full of doubts and insecurities. Certainly, if we do not learn to have a critical look at our inner circumstances and continue to hold on to pain, we will not only feel pain but, sadly, we will go through needless phases of sorrow. Furthermore, we will experience somatic symptoms, either in the shape of confusion or in the form of panic attacks. However, these somatic markers symbolize the need of change which we have denied for a long. Often we prefer to label these phases of mental and physical pain as stress. It seems so convenient to have finally found a scapegoat. Someone we can blame and transfer responsibility. Something to distract from ourselves so that we do not have to deal with it any longer. Consequently we try to get rid of these symptoms. Having said this, this negative phases we go through bring over signs. Signs that stand for transformation, for the acknowledgment of who we really are as individuals. We must accept life’s purpose and the meaning of development. We no longer have to be occupied or shut down. Most important, we must commit to the process of growth.
This is the only way to receive what life has to offer.
This is the only way to become who you really are.
The only way to find yourself.
To be happy.
Have a lovely week!