CW #42: CONFIDENCE
WHERE IS YOUR CONFIDENCE?
Do you ever think of your childhood dreams? Perhaps you wanted to become an oceanographer and explore life under water. Or, you dreamed of traveling to unknown places far from today’s crowded cities. Maybe you wished to have a family and a cozy home. Whatever it was, it demonstrated your personal aspiration, something that was worth spending your thoughts on. Something that, in fact, is worth living for - your dreams! Sure enough, you have had plenty of ideas of how to create your life while growing-up. Some might have been possible, others rather unrealistic. However, all of them were filled with fantasy. A trait that, most certain, the majority of us have buried under the carpet called social standards and social pressure. We lose our vision, we adjust our desires and in this way we create new dreams, rather social confirmed constructions in order to fit into mainstream. Meanwhile we picture our belongings and fake hedonist profiles on social media claiming self-confidence. Clearly, social media profiles are flawless, one might say picture perfect (or that they look better on Instagram than in person). Yet, we tend to forget this image remains a picture only. As a matter of fact, we often mistake online performances with real life happenings. At the same time we feel intimidated by its existence, often leading to false aspirations. The truth is, we will be able to reach our individual goals, if indeed we have faith in ourselves and believe in our abilities of mastery. WELCOME TO CW #42: CONFIDENCE!
The expression “to be confident” derives from Latin confidere/ fidere ( from confidentem) meaning “to trust” or “to have reliance”. In Old French it was translated into confidence referring to reliability, as in “to have good faith” and “to rely on the correctness in human beings”. Later, in mid 15th century, its meaning developed and therefore gained a new purpose. Hence, if one wanted to express their trust and believe in themselves, their resources and skills, they would use the words “have confidence” or “self-confidence”, similar to self-assurance. To be confident means to be sure of your abilities and to believe in your power of mastery. In other words, it is a feeling of self-consciousness. Further, it allows individuals to have trust in their future which is why people with high self-confidence will less likely experience excessive demands due to overthinking or doubting. Also, confidence implies effective behavior. In fact this results in goal-oriented communication which allows relations to grow more intimate and trustworthy.
Self-confidence is based on two main elements. On the one hand its existence relies on the development of self-efficacy. On the other hand, one must establish self-esteem in order to be self-confident. The latter is seen in people coping effectively with all sorts of life situations. Moreover it is the knowledge about successful handling, partly coming from external approval, but also from reacting with competence. Whereas one’s self-efficacy is understood as mastering skills and achieving goals of a particular topic. What is more, it is about experiencing one’s proficiency which, eventually, will help individuals to accept and to master difficult challenges in life. Confidence means to be able to reflect as well as evaluate personal circumstances and therefore gain general satisfaction. Mainly, self-confidence is influenced by a combination of external factors such as parenting, peer groups and work environment, as well as individual traits, e.g. resilience. However, too much comparison and unrealistic expectations will prevent you from development self-confidence.
Why is it essential to develop self-confidence?
Being self-confident will help you make favorable decisions. You choose yourself which means that you do not depend on the approval of others, neither feel forced to please people around you. Furthermore, being confident about your personal strengths will help you to improve your own life, and thus aim for more balance. What is more, it encourages you to be brave and find solution in complicated and challenging life situations. Being self-confident means that you know your limitations, at the same time you do not lose perspective of what is important to you. Ultimately, this will encourage you to create actions and manage their outcome. People with a good amount of self-confidence are certain about their abilities, qualities and decisions, in contrast to individuals with low self-confidence that have to convince others to be certain about them. In fact, this is a situation with negative results only since you cannot convince some else to believe in you, if you do not believe in yourself in the first place.
What can you do to gain self-confidence?
Take care of a well structured and balanced environment. You are in need of constructive feedback. Get rid of unrealistic expectations and useless comparison. You are an individual and you manage life situations based on your resources. Learn to acknowledge your innate characteristics and improve its existence. Create an atmosphere in which you accept yourself the way you are. Forget the past and the mistakes you have made. They are of no relevance for your future. In this way you will be able to practice your skills not fearing failure or disappointments. Also, your mind work must be on point. You must develop a positive mindset and proactive techniques. Believe in yourself and trust your ability to succeed. Catch the opportunity to set a goal, to fulfill your childhood dreams, and become more self-confident! Below you will find assistance in how to achieve your goals.
HOW TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS
- a tick off list -
Self-confidence is not a choice, it is your duty!
Have a wonderful calendar week #42!